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See you there!

For a reading of the original text in an original manner, please also enjoy Henry Rollins's interpretation of "The Night Before Christmas."

3. Merry X-Mas (To Whom It May Concern) (Miles Davis with Bob Dorough)

In 1962, at the age of 36, Miles Davis was already a music legend. Three years earlier he'd released Kind of Blue, his masterwork, on which he'd collaborated with many of the great players and arrangers/composers of the time to develop a new style of jazz -- cool jazz.

Executives at Columbia, his record label, pressured him to contribute a song to Jingle Bell Jazz, a Christmas album that they were compiling of music from jazz artists in their stable. He called in Bob Dorough, an unconventional composer and singer, to write lyrics and sing -- one of few vocalists to perform on a Miles Davis recording. Gil Evans would handle the arrangement.

According to Jack Chambers (Milestones), Davis complained to Dorough, "What the fuck am I supposed to play for them? 'White Christmas'?" (cite)

The resulting tune was "Merry X-Mas (To Whom It May Concern)." Dorough's bitter and disenchanted lyrics trip along through the song, while Davis's trumpet swirls around and punctuates the points.

One of the fun things about the internet is that you can find amazing and detailed information, particularly about an icon like Miles Davis. For example, we can discover that the song was recorded on August 21, 1962, in Columbia Studio A in New York. The performers included the Miles Davis Sextet plus Bob Dorough. The recording was finished in 12 takes.

I wasn't able to find the lyrics anywhere, so I've transcribed them here.

Blue X-Mas (To Whom It May Concern)

Merry Christmas.
I hope you have a fine one,
But for me it’s blue.

Blue Christmas,
That’s the way you see it when you’re feeling blue.
Blue X-Mas,
When you’re blue at Christmastime you see right through
All the waste
All the sham
All the haste
And plain ol’ bad taste.

Sidewalk Santa Clauses are much much much too thin.
They’re wearing fancy rented costumes,
False beards,
And big fat phony grins.
And nearly everybody’s standing round holding out
Their empty hand or tin cup.
Gimme gimme gimme gimme. Gimme gimme gimme.
Fill my stocking up,
All the way up.

It’s a time when the greedy
Give a dime to the needy.

Blue Christmas.
All the paper, tinsel, and the folderol.
Blue X-Mas.
People trading gifts that matter not at all,
What I call
Folderol.
Bitter gall.
Folderol.

(Instrumental)

Lots of hungry homeless children
In your own backyards
While you’re very very busy addressing
Twenty-zillion Christmas cards.

Now, Yuletide is a season to receive, and oh to give
And ah, to share.
But all you December do-gooders rush around
And rant and rave
And loudly blare.

Merry Christmas.
I hope yours is a fine one,
But for me it’s blue.

I'm more a pessimist than an optimist. If I were a little more of a cynic, this would be my favorite Christmas song. As it is, I love the way it cuts through the glitter of the season. And I love the music, still sharp today, and the wit of the lyrics.

Incidentally, if Bob Dorough's voice sounds familiar, it may be because he composed and sang many of the songs for Schoolhouse Rock. Think back to "Three Is a Magic Number" -- that's Dorough at work.

5. The Christmas Waltz (Nancy Wilson>

"The Christmas Waltz" is another beautiful song that not a lot of artists seem to take on. I can't figure out why -- unless the waltziness of it frightens them. It is indeed a waltz, "in three-quarter time" as the lyrics say. How lovely and timeless those lyrics are:

Frosted window panes,
Candles gleaming inside,
Painted candy canes on the tree.
Santa's on his way.
He's filled his sleigh
With things,
Things for you and for me.

It's that time of year
When the world falls in love.
Ev'ry song you hear seems to say,
"Merry Christmas.
May your New Year dreams come true."

And this song of mine
In three-quarter time
Wishes you and yours
The same thing too.

Frank Sinatra recorded a stellar version of this, and if you know the song you probably know it from him.

I prefer Nancy Wilson's interpretation. (Of course I don't mean Nancy Wilson of the band Heart. I mean the song stylist, "Fancy Miss Nancy.") You can find it on Ultra-Lounge's Ultra-Lounge Christmas Cocktails, Pt. 2. Nancy's version sticks to the waltz tempo a bit more, so one could dance to it if one wanted. I'm content to sit and listen to how her warm voice and crisp delivery capture the song perfectly.

4. Baby It's Cold Outside (Dean Martin, Brian Setzer and Ann-Margaret)

Why do I like "Baby It's Cold Outside" so much? There are many reasons not to like it. It's quite retrograde: Who today would say "there's bound to be talk tomorrow," "neighbors might think," or especially "my maiden aunt's mind is vicious"? One friend of mine called it "the date-rape song" because of the line "hey, what's in this drink?" There's talk of smoking, too. This is not a politically correct song in our enlightened times.

But I do love it. It's a mini-musical of courtship. I love its flirtiness ("your eyes are like starlight now"). And it's funny and sharp. "Think of my lifelong sorrow ... if you caught pneumonia and died!" I know I'd laugh, and then I'd stay for at least a few minutes more.

Here's the song's original movie performance, from 1949's Neptune's Daughter. Yes, that's Ricardo Montalbán serenading Esther Williams. Dig his swanky apartment with panoramic view and built-in, well-stocked bar, and her nifty fur cape.

For recorded versions of this song, I've always liked Dean Martin's, mostly because he's such a smooth-talking charmer. The song fits his persona to a 't.' The girl in the recording is nameless, just some studio singer. The way the song is produced she sounds like a chrous of girls, a whole roomful of long-stemmed babes that Dean is trying to date at one time -- and apparently succeeding with.

An alternative is provided by the version with Ann-Margaret and Al Hirt. (Find it on Yule B Swinging Too.) Ann-Margaret is in full-on kitten mode, purring at Hirt's velvety seductions. They're not sparring at all; they're both looking for ways for her to explain why she's clearly not leaving.

And then there's the Brian Setzer duet with Ann-Margaret on Boogie Woogie Christmas. I've come to like this one best. Ann-Margaret is a whole lot sassier and no less sexy, and Setzer is awfully ardent and persuasive. Who'd want to go out in the cold and leave behind someone so warm?

Fortunately, I have a treat to tide you over, sent to me by frequent commenter Erich Maria . It's a video of Mitzi Gaynor singing "We Need a Little Christmas" -- but it's more than just that:

From an email exchange between me and Erich:

EM: You would think they would have gotten some kids who could ice skate.

CC: That’s a riot! Do you think the kids are falling on purpose? Too funny.

EM: I don't know, but 0:09 she claps her hands and the kids behind her fall down. Then at 0:17, she stomps her boot down, someone else goes down. Could be a coincidence ...

Watch and decide for yourself!

6. Little Drummer Boy (Up the Khyber) (Hoodoo Gurus)

You young'uns may not know about the Hoodoo Gurus. Back in the mid- to late-80s and into the 90s, a wave of Australian bands enjoyed success in the alternative rock world. Men at Work and Midnight Oil were probably the best known, but the Hoodoo Gurus were more my style. Lots of twangy guitars, catchy tunes, big hair. Good stuff. Look at the videos for "I Want You Back" and "Like Wow Wipeout." It's like a time machine back to college for me, I'm telling you.

Anyway, years later I picked up Lump of Coal (the virtues of which CD I've harped on several times this month), which opens with a storm of drums and some twangy guitars: "Little Drummer Boy (Up The Khyber)." It's been among my favorite Christmas songs ever since.

A bit about the song title: Like many Americans, I have a limited grasp of world geography. I didn't spend much time thinking where the Khyber might be. I suppose I figured it was a river in Australia, as that's where the Hoodoo Gurus hail from. Perhaps I had a faint memory about something called the Khyber Pass, but I didn't stress my poor brain worrying about it.

Today I took it into mind to wonder where the Khyber might be, and what it might be. Wikipedia made clear that no river in Australia was involved, and that the Khyber is instead the mountain pass that links Pakistan and Afghanistan.

But what does an Asian trading route have to do with a Christmas song? You might guess that the three wise men were supposed to have come on this route, or maybe that the Hoodoo Gurus happen to be big fans of the history of trade. I don't know for sure. But it happens that "Up the Khyber" is the name of a song by Pink Floyd, off the album More -- an instrumental that features an extended, frenetic drum solo ... just like that in the Hoodoo Gurus song.

Wikipedia: the gift that keeps on giving.

7. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Barenaked Ladies & Sarah McLachlan)

There's not a lot complicated about my affection for this version of "God Rest ye Merry Gentlemen." It's traditional yet unconventional; spunky and a little offbeat as Barenaked Ladies songs always are; and musically pretty as Sarah MacLaughlin songs are. It doesn't sound particularly Canadian, but maybe my ears aren't tuned to detect that frequency.

I found this on a compilation (Maybe This Christmas), but it's also available on Barenaked for the Holidays. I'd not heard of this album before tonight -- the things one learns when writing blog posts!

When I discover a new holiday album, I look to see if it includes songs that I don't recognize -- often a good sign. In this case, there are several Hanukkah songs and several original songs, all of which I'm unfamiliar with. Joy! I bought it and am currently listening. I'll provide a full report soon, but early indications are that I've found some new favorites here. (The opening song, a manic version of "Jingle Bells," has already won my heart.)

Some weeks back I mentioned that my sister Laura is traveling through Latin America over the Christmas holiday, and that I would be renovating her blog so she can keep us informed on her whereabouts and adventures.

At last, the new site is up (mostly -- still have to migrate photos to the new gallery), and Laura has posted her first new entry. Please stop by Have You Heard From Laura. You can leave her a comment to wish her a Merry Christmas and offer encouragement as she struggles to learn Spanish.

Most of her posts are from previous trips. Note the photos of her traveling companion, Mr. Toast. He's seen much more of the world than I have.

One of the striking things about Laura is how quickly and easily she meets people and makes friends. This new post is a perfect example. Within forty-eight hours she met at least a half dozen people, got recommendations on where to stay and eat, and made arrangements to hang out with like-minded travelers. Who needs a guide book?

8. Step Into Christmas (The Wedding Present, Elton John)

Elton John (now Sir Elton Hercules John) released "Step Into Christmas" in 1974 on the underappreciated album Caribou. It's upbeat and energized, and there's everything in the world to recommend it.

But the version I prefer is by The Wedding Present, a band from England that has a strong post-punk vibe. For this song, they've kept the vibrancy, but they've dropped a lot of the polish and bounciness, as well as Elton John's characteristic piano and keyboards; in their place they've substituted buzzy, distorted guitars. The singer, David Gedge, has a raspy quality to his voice, and sings with a noticeably more British accent than Sir Elton does. (The Wedding Present is from Leeds, England, much farther north than Elton John's Middlesex.) The result is a more abrasive song that manages -- counter to the standard image of punk and post-punk -- to be melodic and happy.

Although I grew up in the 70s and still love much from that decade, I lean a bit to the 90s version, the one by The Wedding Present.

Which version anyone prefers is a matter of taste, of course. I'd love for you to listen to both and give your opinion. There's a video of each on YouTube, but the audio quality is so poor for both that I'd hate for you to judge on that basis. (Listen if you like: Elton John and The Wedding Present.)

You can check out a sample of the Elton John version, and I suspect you've heard it elsewhere. The Wedding Present's version doesn't seem to be readily available though, so I'll share it with you here: "Stepping Into Christmas" by The Wedding Present.

Which is your favorite? Leave a comment or send me an email. (Bob, I think I can guess which you prefer, but maybe you'll surprise me.)

As you may know, City Theatre invites me often to attend and review their productions. They asked me to help promote an event coming up this January:

Pittsburgh Bloggers Invited to "The Vagina Monologues"

City Theatre, on Pittsburgh's South Side, is staging a new production of the mega-hit "The Vagina Monologues," and they're extending a special invitation to the bloggers of Pittsburgh -- female and otherwise.

"The Vagina Monologues," Eve Ensler's revolutionary and entertaining theatre event, will star Erica Bradshaw, Holli Hamilton and Laurie Klatscher. These three awesome actresses will list pet names for private parts, tell stories about discovering "downthere," and discuss the wonders of birth. Staged in City Theatre's 111-seat Hamburg Studio, the shocking truths and raucous humor will be an up-close and personal experience for all.

Local bloggers are invited to bring a guest and attend the show for free on Saturday, Jan. 12 at 5:30 pm. You'll also enjoy a complimentary glass of wine in the theatre lobby bar beginning at 4:30 pm. If you choose to write about "The Vagina Monologues" on your blog afterwards, the theatre will also provide a special discount code that you can offer your readers.

IMPORTANT: To reserve your seats, please send an email to Margie Romero (mromero at citytheatrecompany.org) by Wednesday, January 2, 2008. Include your name, the name and URL of your blog, and the number of seats you wish to reserve (1 or 2).

Space is limited, so sign up today!

I'll be there, most definitely. If you're going, I'd love to meet up with other bloggers afterwards as well -- we'll grab a coffee or a drink somewhere on the South Side and discuss the show. Drop me a note if you plan to go.

UPDATE: The deadline for reserving free seats has passed. A few seats are still available for purchase for that night, and the show continues through February 17. You can receive a special discount of $5 off by mentioning the word "blog" when you call for tickets -- tell them you read about it on My Brilliant Mistakes.

9. The Merriest (June Christy)

I will not be surprised if you don't know our number nine song, "The Merriest." Almost no one seems to know it. At least, almost no one seems to have recorded it -- except for the singer who introduced it to the world, June Christy.

This Time of Year is a winter concept album by June Christy, released in 1961. The tracks on it were all new -- which was not typical for albums of that time, when standards were ... well, standard. Ms. Christy wanted to counter the trend of every Christmas album including the same old songs. Most of the tunes on this album are slower, almost ballads, and in keeping with her cool singing style. "The Merriest," though, is more like the tunes for which she first became known: Upbeat, with complicated melodies and sophisticated rhythms.

Few people seem to tackle this song. I will guess it's because this is a hard song to perform. Either that, or everyone is fully satisfied that June Christy's version is one for the ages.

(Background info on This Time of Year from AllMusic.com)

Inside it's warm, and I'm drinking a cup of hot cocoa and listening to Christmas music. Let's have another song for the countdown, shall we? (Find previous holiday countdown posts here.)

10. Do You Hear What I Hear? (Bing Crosby)

Bing Crosby's recording of "White Christmas" is his "best-selling recording, and the best-selling single and best selling song of all time." (cite) For many, it's the quintessential holiday song.

You've most likely figured out, though, that it's not my favorite song by him. Oh, it's a fine song, and Bing's crooning fits it perfectly. Plus he does that nice whistling in the middle.

But my favorite Christmas song recorded by Bing is "Do You Hear What I Hear?" I've a fondness for songs that tell a story, and in this case Bing's baritone brings depth to the tale. Who else could sing "with a voice as big as the sea" and actually sound as big as the sea? With each verse, the song builds in intensity, to an ending that sounds fully grand and awesome.

12. Christmas for Cowboys (John Denver)

When I was a kid, one Christmas album we listened to over and over (and over) was John Denver's Rocky Mountain Christmas. It's a pretty collection of songs, including traditional carols, popular standards, and songs written by John Denver.

Of the selections on the album, "Christmas for Cowboys" has grown to be my favorite -- a gentle, simple tune that features Denver's clear, warm voice and exemplifies his love for the American West and life outdoors.

(Side note: In skimming around various websites while writing this post, I was reminded by the John Denver Wikipedia entry of his catch-phrase: "Far out!" I had completely forgotten this -- although I can't see how, because every appearance he made on TV played it up. Apparently he said "Far out!" nineteen times during his first appearance as guest-host for Johnny Carson. That statistic is far out itself.)

Denver had a holiday special in 1975, "Rocky Mountain Christmas." This video is compiled of clips from it. "Christmas for Cowboys" starts at 2:00.

11. I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm (Billie Holiday, Frank Sinatra)

Irving Berlin wrote "I've Got My Love to Keep Me Warm" in 1937. Billie Holiday recorded it the same year, when she had only recently begun performing with the greatest big bands. This recording shows off her distinctive voice and phrasing; the band includes jazz greats Benny Carter on clarinet and Sweets Edison on muted trumpet.

I doubt any film footage exists of Holliday performing this song, but you can listen to it on YouTube. I found the song on Have Yourself a Jazzy Little Christmas.

Frank Sinatra also recorded a fine, swinging version of this song. Here's a clip of him performing it on "The Frank Sinatra Show." How sharp he looks and sounds!

14. (Everybody’s Waiting for) The Man with the Bag (Kay Starr; Brian Setzer Orchestra)

I don't have much information on this song, I'm sorry to say. But I love it for its humor, swing, and sassy attitude.

The first version I heard was sung by Kay Starr. It's upbeat, maybe a little rocking and rolling. I still think of this as the definitive version.

Recently though, I've also become enamored of the version by the Brian Setzer Orchestra, which has big band feel spiced up with Setzer's rockabilly/boogie woogie style.

Brian Setzer may be a better guitarist than singer, but his singing is still mighty fine.

13. Fairytale of New York (The Pogues with Kirsty MacColl)

There's a lot of backstory for this song. It was written by Jem Finer and Shane MacGowan of the Pogues, and originally the female vocal was to have been sung by Cait O'Riordan, the band's bassist. She left the band though (having struck up a relationship with Elvis Costello, who had been producing the band's albums), and the song sat unfinished. But the band's new producer, Steve Lillywhite, asked his then-wife Kirsty MacColl to record a guide vocal for a demo, and the band liked her contribution enough that they asked her to sing on the album version. The title of the song was chosen after the recording was complete, and comes from J. P. Donleavy's novel, A Fairy Tale of New York.

You don't need to know any of that though to appreciate the song. But how to describe a song that starts like this:

It was Christmas Eve, babe, in the drunk tank.
An old man said to me, "Won't see another one."
And then he sang a song, a rare old mountain tune.
I turned my face away, and I dreamed about you.

It's coarse and melodic, bittersweet and rich, a short story in musical form.

You can find "Fairytale of New York" on the album on which it first appeared, If I Should Fall from Grace with God and various compilations. I have it on The Edge of Christmas, which is a crazy mix of holiday tunes -- perhaps more crazy than this countdown even. I recommend it.