Archives: February 01, 2006

Eureka

Sunday, 26 February 2006 10:16 AM

If you are a writer of fiction or a watcher of episodic TV, or both, check out Kung Fu Monkey, the blog of TV and movie screenwriter John Rogers. (He wrote the much-vilified Catwoman, but he seems otherwise meritorious, and he's quite funny.)

He's posting these days about his involvement with Eureka, a sci-fi show in development. The first post: Meeting 1 with the show's six writers, during which he pitches his episode idea and hopes they'll like it enough to work with him on it:

Every good television episode is revelatory of the characters. The sci-fi McGuffin should serve to illuminate character relationships. If, when you get to talk to your first executive producer, you focus on how your ideas will focus on reflecting some aspect fo the characters, you can't go wrong. The room will come up with the plot bullshit -- you need to bring the heart. If in particular you're able to showcase some characters who are not always used to their maximum effect, aces. You are there to solve the exec-producer's problems. Sometimes problems he didn't know he had.

And also this:

This may reveal my old pulp roots, but for a sci-fi/genre show, my rough stucture is:

1.) Wow, have we got a problem. It is Very Bad.
2.) Whoops, no, we have an entirely different problem, and it's far worse.
3.) That problem? Yeah, that's going to kill us.
4.) Solve the problem. Marvel at the emotional wreckage. Prep for next week.

Really, you've got 48 minutes. 6 two-minute scenes an act. TV isn't haiku, but it's damn close.

By the way, those four points neatly summarize the structure recommended for the basic novel. TV is fiction-lite.

The most important meal of the day

Wednesday, 22 February 2006 11:44 AM

Holiday Inn Express gives you breakfast when you stay with them. They proclaim this benefit in their advertising: "Free Breakfast Bar."

What they mean is this:

For a long time, a very long time, I thought they meant that if I'd stayed at a Holiday Inn Express, in my room next to the coffee maker I'd find one of these:

I could not understand why they were trumpeting this in three-foot tall letters on their billboards.

I don't remember when I figured out what they really meant. But even know, when I know what they mean, every time I see a Holiday Inn Express Billboard, I still picture the shiny wrapper of a NutriGrain bar.

Drink of the Week: Urban Bourbon

Friday, 17 February 2006 08:30 PM

I've had a rough week, full of networking troubles and hardware failures. How would I like to spend Friday evening? Relaxing with a drink in the company of charming friends. How will I be spending the evening? Moving websites to new hosting space in the company of my cats. The cats are charming in their own way, but it's not quite what I could hope for.

The beacon leading me through the dark trials of this night is the cocktail I plan to have later, once the files are uploaded to their new homes and the updates to the nameserver settings are wending through the crevices of the Internet.

You might try one too, and we'll thereby have a virtual cocktail party, just like that picture above.

(If you don't have Tuaca, fake it with a splash each of Cointreau and Amaretto and maybe a drop of creme de cacao.)

Urban Bourbon

2 oz good-quality bourbon
1/2 oz Tuaca
lemon twist garnish

Fill a cocktail shaker with ice and add bourbon and Tuaca. Stir to blend. Strain into stemmed cocktail glass, and garnish with twist.

This recipe comes from Atomic Cocktails, as does our illustrated couple above. Aren't they swank? I feel sexier just looking at them.

A bitch of an unsatisfactory situation

Sunday, 12 February 2006 06:39 PM

Last night I went to see Brokeback Mountain. I went with my handsome friend John. His wife Michele set it up.

Both of them wanted to see the movie, but they've got two little babies and a small budget that requires they limit babysitting. Typically they take turns seeing movies, one staying home while the other goes to the movie, the two of them tag-teaming the childcare.

For this movie though, John felt he couldn't go alone. He teaches at the local high school, and this town is conservative and small. He was convinced that if people (parents, teenagers, concerned citizens) saw a solo male attending a showing of a movie about gay cowboys, they would draw conclusions that could threaten his job.

So, he needed a chaperone, and that chaperone had to be female. As a result, I got a home-cooked meal (Michele is an excellent cook) and a free viewing of an Oscar-nominated movie in the company of an intelligent and good friend. My life has its special rewards.

Note please: I continue to be astonished that a solo man attending a movie with homosexual themes could be more controversial than a married man attending a movie with a single woman while his wife sits at home with their toddler and infant.

But to continue. I was not blown away by the movie, although I found the performances, direction, and cinematography all excellent. The thing is, it's a sad story. It verges on tragic -- and I don't use that word lightly. I could feel the tension of the characters, how impossible their situations were. Even so, the story didn't hook into my heart. I left touched but not noticeably changed.

I'm struggling to articulate why. Maybe it was a backlash at how much hype the movie has been received. I think it has something to do with the main character, Ennis: I understood that he felt trapped, intellectually I understood his dilemma, but as a person I have never perceived myself to be so limited as he was, and the movie somehow didn't evoke that sensation in me. The limiting factor could have been me or the movie, I don't know. I know only that it didn't do it for me.

At least I stayed until the end. Two couples left during the showing I attended: The first, a broad guy and smaller woman during the first love scene, the second during the second. As John asked later, "Did they not know what the movie was about?" My guess was that they did know, but they didn't know how much would be shown on the big screen and how much implied. Or perhaps they were more surprised by the limits of their own tolerance.

Possibly the female of each couple persuaded the male that it wouldn't be like what it sounded, and once those scenes started the guys concluded that yes, it would be. Sad for them then that they didn't stay, as there was little more physical action than those two scenes.

Then again, that's just my read. Maybe there was more than I'd taken note of. Moral judgments aside, anything you haven't seen before surprises you. I've lived in cities like Boston and San Francisco, and though I've always considered myself open-minded, I've probably forgotten how surprising various sights were to me the first time too.

Ever since the movie had launched, I'd heard friends predict it wouldn't play in Butler. I maintained that it would, especially if it won an Academy award -- turns out that all the movie needed was to be nominated to get such pervasive exposure.

I don't think it should win Best Picture, but every performance in it was worthy of note, and the cinematography was gorgeous. And I'd like to nominate the Regal Cinemas at Moraine Point a little award of its own: Bravest Cinema in a Provincial Town.

Going to Disney World!

Monday, 06 February 2006 09:16 PM

Yo, Hines Ward! You and the Pittsburgh Steelers just won the Super Bowl -- what are you going to do next?

Filling the time until kickoff

Sunday, 05 February 2006 11:58 AM

To help you while away the final hours until Super Bowl XL finally gets underway, some reading material:

Ben Roethlisberger has been updating his blog regularly all week, showing the media blitz and hype from the perspective of the other side.

As you can imagine, my schedule has been crazy out here in Detroit. So Tuesday was a day off, like our usual Tuesdays during the season, but during Super Bowl week that just means I didn't throw any passes. Tuesday before the Super Bowl is traditionally media day, and let me tell you, it's a spectacle. I didn't really know what to expect, but now I understand where the hype around this game comes from. We got on the buses from our hotel at 7:45am and went to the Stadium. Ford Field will always be special to me, because that's where I played my first NFL game, in the preseason last year. We went into our locker room and put on our game pants and jerseys. Yes, we are wearing white jerseys, and yes, that is fine by me. It's pretty funny to see football players in their uniform without pads on. Not the most figure flattering sight. We did some short tapings and photo shoots for promotional stuff and the game telecast. From there, we went onto the field, and some of us had to sit individually at podiums and answer questions for about an hour. As we walked onto the field, what seemed like thousands of media people poured down from the stands to the field. I answered questions for the entire hour - many of which were repeated - but none that were too crazy. Lots of questions about my beard and hair. For the record, the hair will stay after the game, the beard will go, most likely on Monday.

Chuck Klosterman has been posting an alternative blog for ESPN's Page 2. Primarily he whines about having to cover an event he doesn't plan to watch (although he does seem to know a lot about the game and teams) and highlights the surreal world of the pre-game hype.

One of the gimmicks of Super Bowl week is something called "The NFL Experience," a massive exhibit of interactive footballesque activities located in downtown Detroit's Cobo Hall. I did not have an intense urge to see The Experience, but I did want to visit Cobo Hall; while some people aspire to visit legendary sports stadiums, I intend to visit the location of every venue included in the 1987 documentary KISS Exposed (these venues include the Houston Astrodome, Rio de Janeiro, and at least one soccer stadium in Australia). The 1976 KISS performance from Cobo is especially moving, as Ace Frehley performed two autonomous solos during "Strutter" (one in the usual place, and then an abridged reprise at the conclusion). I sure do love football.

I went to the NFL Experience thinking it would be mildly ridiculous, but I was wrong; in reality, it was totally idiotic. I obviously assumed this kind of promotion would be primarily geared toward children (Note to readers: I loathe children), but it seems the NFL Experience is exclusively a twerp's domain: It's a bunch of miniature humans trying to kick footballs while simultaneously begging their parents to buy them overpriced Chad Johnson jerseys

Over on SuperBowl.com, Nick Bakay, sounding like he'd jump at the chance to switch places and save Klosterman from his misery, has been blogging the weeks away from the comfort of his couch.

Y'know, everyone talks about the intangibles in football -- but what about the Man-tangibles:

What's a Man-tangible? Hidden advantages that exist in a parallel universe, somewhere between the boundaries of a late hit, and your fourth Ketel One.

Mantangible, Exhibit "A": Big Ben's Beard:

While certainly not in the same class as Jake Plummer's moody drifter special, I like Ben Roethlisberger's scruffy, nappy, high school "first beard" presumptuousness.

Of course, the beard didn't work out so good the last time the Steelers went to the Big Dance -- anyone remember Neil O'Donnell's separatist cult-leader special? How about the picks he threw with no receiver in the same zip code?

Regardless, I like a bearded QB -- always have. I lived in Dallas a few years back, not in the greatest part of town, and there was this crazy donut shop that was set up just like a bar -- jukebox, women with way too much eye shadow smokin' 120s, a long counter with a TV on the wall -- and every stool was filled with dudes who looked like Big Ben -- bearded, haunted wildcatters sittin' there all night nursing a coffee and a plate full of personal demons. The kind of place that made you feel lucky if you made it back to your car without getting your nose broken ... and the mantangibles say that's the kind of QB you like to see playing in January ...

Advantage: Steelers.

Drink of the Day After the Super Bowl: The Eye-Opener

Sunday, 05 February 2006 09:58 AM

Regardless of the outcome of tonight's game, it's likely that some of us will be running at less than top capacity tomorrow morning. We may spend the post-game time toasting with champagne or soothing our souls with bourbon straight, but either way we'll be at least a little sorry in the morning.

In addition to pointing out some useful hangover-prevention tips you can use through the day and evening (the best of which is to drink lots and lots of water), I suggest you gather together the ingredients for the restorative drink below. Line them up neatly in the kitchen along with a shaker and whiskey sour glass. You might even premix everything except the egg -- your hands might be a little too shaky for pouring in the early morning light. You'll only need one of these, to take the edge off as they say. Then take some aspirin with a pint of cold water, find some dark sunglasses, and you'll be ready to face the day.

The Eye-Opener

1 1/2 oz Light Rum
1/2 oz Triple Sec or Cointreau
2 tsp Pernod
1 tsp sugar
1 tsp Crème de Cacao
1 egg

Fill a cocktail shaker with crushed ice. Pour in the ingredients. Shake well. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass. Serve chilled.

Drink of the Super Bowl: No. 43 Trophy Cup (aka The Polamalu)

Friday, 03 February 2006 07:02 PM

I wanted to create a special drink for the Super Bowl. Here were the criteria I set:

• The ingredients should somehow reflect on the Steelers, the Pittsburgh area, and football.
• The recipe should be original (although it could be roughly based on a not-well-known drink).
• It should taste good.

Football and western PA are nearly synonymous, and there's an easy link to both of them: Iron City Beer. The trouble is that I hate Iron City Beer. Not as much as I hate Bud or any of the various Miller products or (heaven forfend) Coors, but it's a strong distaste all the same. I'm sorry to offend but c'mon: It's thin and bland, an ailing brew. And yet, it's the hometown brew, the bottle (or can, or disposable plastic cup) that the true believers of Pittsburgh will be raising this weekend. If I could work it into the drink, I'd be well on my way to my best-ever Bowl beverage.

As avid Googlers (welcome, handsome strangers!) and faithful readers (hello, all five of you!) already know, I am terribly fond of our mad-sexy Troy Polamalu. So of course I wanted to somehow connect the drink to him.

But how to bring these elements together and at the same time make the drink irresistably quaffable?

The answer: Pimm's No. 1.

Pimm's No. 1 is a gin-based liqueur, deep amber in color and cloyingly sweet. It tastes like Moxie. Actually, I've never had Moxie (the drink, that is), but Pimm's No. 1 tastes precisely how I imagine Moxie to taste, and it has a solid alcoholic kick to boot.

How does it solve my mixological dilemma? Well, Pimm's No. 1 is a critical component of what Britons drink at sporting events. OK, at Wimbledon and various cricket matches, but those are big events there. The Super Bowls of Britannia. So, it's a sport-oriented drink. Plus, it begins with "P" so it ties in Polamalu (tenuously). And the name says "No. 1," which is what the winner of the Super Bowl is.

And most importantly, it makes thin beer taste good. The typical way to drink Pimm's No. 1 is to add it to lemonade, ginger ale, tonic, champagne... any mildly flavored mixer. I found that if you put some No. 1 in a couple of ounces of lager, you've got a close approximation to a Belgian beer. (It tastes even better after you've had two.) It's perfect! I'm going to bring a flask of it to all future softball games.

And so, without further ado:

Pimm's No. 43 Trophy Cup
(a My Brilliant Mistakes original)

1 part Pimm's No. 1
4 parts western PA lager (Iron City, Rolling Rock, Yuengling)
half a lemon slice

Pour Pimm's in a rocks glass; follow with lager, pouring down the side of the glass to avoid creating a big fizzy head. Put lemon garnish on glass rim or squeeze at nearby Seahawks fans, as appropriate. Every time Polamalu causes a Seattle player to hit the turf, drink.

Be advised: This drink has an honorable kick. I'm having one now (OK, my third), and it has taken me three tries to type this sentence correctly.

Go Steelers!

Bloggers (Silent) Poetry Reading Item: "Nuclear"

Thursday, 02 February 2006 11:58 PM

There are still a few minutes left in February 2, 2006, and so I post here a poem for the Bloggers' (Silent) Poetry Reading.

This poem is by Terrance Hayes, who teaches at Carnegie Mellon University and whom I've had the joy of hearing read at the Gist Street Reading Series in Pittsburgh. (There will be a Gist Street Reading on 2/3/2006, by the way, not by Terrance but by other astounding writers.)

I have a print of this poem, laid out like an engineering drawing and signed and whatnot. I'll try to post a pic of it. The line breaks and spaces are tricky to imitate in web form. But for now...

Nuclear
by Terrance Hayes

How to make a nation say,       uncle
In other words:       how to rule.
We learn
there will be no clue
before it happens.       No clear
sign from the Cosmos.       A clan-
destine airplane will appear       wrapped in the lace
of a black dream. Then a flash       like an ulcer
bursting in God's gut. Citizens who goggle & race
about the city      as the sky becomes a caul-
dron.      The bones burn clean.

1. End words must be derived from four or more letters.
2. Words that acquire four letters by the addition of 's,' such as 'bats' or 'dies' are not used.
3. Only one form of a verb is used.

Copyright © 2004 – 2007 Cynthia Closkey