Archives: July 01, 2004

The modern alternative to the midlife crisis: Long Live Rock! concert

Wednesday, 28 July 2004 04:43 PM

Fun event announcement from my friend Julie Long:

Some men buy themselves a sports car when they turn forty. My husband decided to give himself a rock-n-roll fantasy. His basement band Midlife Crisis is playing at the Byham Theater on his birthday, July 29th. And just to make sure they can fill the joint, they've turned it into a charity event for CAPA, Pittsburgh's high school for the Creative and Performing Arts.

Find out all about it at Long Live Rock, where you can view the "Behind the Music" video, find out how to get tickets, etc.

I haven't seen the band yet, but I'm told by reliable sources that they're a good, rockin' time. Hope to see you there, tomorrow night!

Time to bring back the two Martini lunch

Monday, 26 July 2004 11:28 AM

I've never liked vermouth. When I ask for a Martini I always say, "Skip the vermouth." So actually I don't drink Martinis: I drink very cold gin or vodka, up, with a twist. Sometimes I even order just that: "I'd like ice-cold vodka, up, please. Lemon twist."

But this distaste for vermouth nags at me, and I've been thinking lately that what I dislike is not vermouth in general but the quality of the vermouth I'm served. Maybe if I tried a higher end brand, I'd find I even enjoy the stuff.

And just as I'm coming to this conclusion, brandchannel.com publishes an article about a high-end, never advertised but widely appreciated vermouth, Noilly Prat:

Is the lack of awareness for Noilly Prat keeping employees awake in Marseillan or at the company's headquarters in Paris?

"No, not at all," says Aude Rocourt, Noilly Prat's director, whose brief includes strategy, marketing and product development.

Pressed to clarify why it's unimportant that the brand name is to some extent unfamiliar to the man in the street, Rocourt replies, "That's absolutely right. Noilly Prat has never been mainstream. It is an haut-de-gamme product, a sophisticated and authentic taste for people -- almost invariably over 35 years old -- who are seeking to 'trade up' in terms of their drinking. It's about 25 percent more expensive than our main rival -- Martini -- and targeted at the upmarket and refined drinking connoisseur."

It's like he's talking just about me!

Now I have only to hope that the PA Liquor Control Board stocks this stuff.

Incidentally, Noilly Prat's marketing strategy is interesting in its long-term approach, targeting the influencers -- bartenders, chefs, caterers, hoteliers -- who then bring the message to exactly the consumers to whom the vermouth is targeted.

Also interesting is that Noilly Prat's "competition," Martini, isn't competition at all: they're sister brands, aimed at different segments of the market. Martini itself barely needs to advertise, as it's the only vermouth most of us have ever heard about.

(Link via Agenda.)

Harder than naming children

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 09:38 AM

All the good ones -- and many, many bad ones -- are taken: Car companies have a terrible time selecting new car names.

General Motors found out last year that a forthcoming Buick sedan called LaCrosse, to be offered in Canada, was French-Canadian teenage slang for masturbation.

Volkswagen's SUV, the Touareg, is not only unpronounceable for many Americans but was also named after a tribe of north African nomads that, it turns out, traded slaves well into the 20th century.

Twice in the last two years Ford Motor has named prototypes of new cars after ones from its storied history only to find out it didn't own the names anymore. The supercar now called the GT was to be called the GT40 after the legendary car from the 1960s. And a new midsized sedan to go on sale next year was to revive the Futura nameplate. It still doesn't have a new name.

(Link thanks to Agenda.)

Explaining my links: S/FJ

Wednesday, 21 July 2004 12:01 AM

I understand about 3% of what Sasha Frere-Jones posts (in text and pix) in his blog. I understand his other writing a bit better, and on that basis I see that I can learn from him, and that I'll be glad I learned it and will grow in positive, so-glad-I-got-here ways. His ears and eyes are open. Please visit his site.

Watching paint dry

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 11:16 PM

Robert Benchley wrote, "Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at the moment." My life is dedicated to proving this true. This summer there are many things I should be doing: building and expanding and updating websites for clients, reviewing and responding to manuscripts for Inkburns as well as sending contracts and payment to contributors, renovating my own business sites and operations, writing, and so on.

And so, I started a project to repaint the entire interior of my house.

I'm making great progress. The house is in a classic 50s ranch style, so I've chosen bright colors from that period, a different color for every room. I've reached the halfway point in the painting project: Where once all was a uniform off-white, now the kitchen is chartreuse, the living room is sunbeam yellow, the hallway one coat into its transformation to avocado.

For example:

(Note, despite the clutter restored post-painting, the celebratory and near-empty bottle of bourbon on the counter.)

And:

We had a mishap in the powder room, where moisture issues left the pink flamingo walls intact but caused the ceiling paint to peel in the corners; but soon that too will be repaired, in some way I haven't quite devised.

This picture captures the best of it: my quirky-weird color choices and precise yet particular color combinations, prepping with blue painter's tape on the workwork and the electrical outlets and HVAC controls (my parents watch the home improvement cable channels and told me repeatedly that I must "get the blue tape" -- and to my surprise they were correct ... it's a wonderous product, although for me the purple tape is better), the nasty shag carpet still protecting the hall floor until I finish painting and can rip it out, my grandmother's old furniture in a bedroom that has yet to be painted:

More of the hall with the blue tape protecting the woodwork, with the absurdly avocado paint:

The living room, with a ladder I inherited from previous owners of the house and with a friendlier warm yellow paint (Sunbeam Yellow from Sherwin-Williams, if you're curious (yellow)):

Next we finish the living room and begin work on the dining room and office and master bedroom. Newly ordered furniture arrives within the next two weeks, and space for the current furniture will be found as we create a basement rec room of sorts.

Now, most anyone who knows painting might look at the number of rooms I've finished and think of the three weeks that have passed since I started this and say, "Damn, you're slow."

In a sense this is true, in that at least forty-eight hours pass between when I start any room and when I finish.

However, such a person is not accounting for my lethal combination of painting inexperience and perfectionism. Everything here is new to me, and I must complete it flawlessly. And therefore, slowly. Also, I do attend to other work in between painting escapades.

My brother is helping me, but he is worse than I am: He studied architecture and fine art in college, so he worries every line and brush stroke. (Proof: He was laid off from a manufacturing job recently in part for doing his job too carefully.) We do have a fine time getting every trim line right, and he's both taller and stronger than I and so able to do the ceiling rolling work. We listen to the Pittsburgh Pirates on the radio as we paint. Or we put Tom Waits on random on the iPod; we wonder aloud why we can't get anyone else to listen to more than three of his songs and debate whether his music classifies as "pop music" because it's generated for an unspecified, presumably "popular" audience.

And so it continues.

As a burned-in-the-bone marketer I continue to search for a proper name for this project, to give it an identity as well as to partially excuse the effort going into it. I have toyed with "The Sistine Chapel Project," but there's only a little bit of ceiling work and paint-in-the-eyes-and-hair strain. Given the number of colors I thought about "The Crayola Project." What I'm discovering (yet again) is that I'm a better project manager than copy writer/creative. The work will be finished before I come up with a label for it.

I'm a fabulous falling-off-a-horse-man

Tuesday, 20 July 2004 09:38 PM

This week's Onion A.V. Club has a tremendous interview with John Landis, director of many, many great things (including one of my most favorite movies, An American Werewolf in London). There are so many great bits that it's hard to choose a proper one to excerpt, but here's a delightful quote:

When we made The Blues Brothers, it was all Bee Gees and ABBA. Now, I get questions like, "How did you get Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin and James Brown to be in the movie?" And I have to tell them, "It's because they were thrilled to get the job." To give you an idea of how different it is now, when we did The Blues Brothers, MCA/Universal refused the soundtrack album, because they said no one but old black people would buy it. Then we went to what was called a "black label," Atlantic, and they refused to put John Lee Hooker on the album! Fifteen years later, John had a platinum album.

Oh, also, and very importantly, this bit:

People don't understand this: Ideas are important, but they're not essential. What's essential and important is the execution of the idea. Everyone has had the experience of seeing a movie and saying, "Hey! That was my idea!" Well, it doesn't mean anything that you had that idea. There's no such thing as an original concept. What's original is the way you re-use ancient concepts.

Fore!

Friday, 16 July 2004 11:32 AM

Stuck inside the office on a sunny summer Saturday when you'd rather be out on the links? Then you'll probably hate reading about other people golfing while you're working. Even so, I recommend you check out the Guardian's live coverage of the British Open. Witty and bored British sports reporters watch the tournament on television from the newspaper's offices and recount highlights, while also fielding reader email. A sampling from today, by the Guardian's Rob Smyth:

10.55 The wind is screeching around like a demented old windbag whose alcopop-swigging boyfriend has just got in a fight on a Friday night in Rochester. But that doesn't stop Nick Faldo putting from 20 feet at the fifth and celebrating with a ridiculous punch of the air. Bowl-cut bonzo Ken Brown, meanwhile, runs us through his gag repertoire.

11.00 Laura Davies has just said it's Saturday. How we all wish it was, eh? Tiger Woods, like a judge battering his hammer-type thing furiously during an assault trial involving alcopop-swigging bruisers and their windbag-like partners that has got out of control, restores some order with par at the tenth. Meanwhile, my teeth still hurt.

Leaderboard

P Casey -5 (18)
T Levet -5 (18)

M Campbell -4 (31)
V Singh -4 (26)
S Lowery -4 (24)

11.10 "I see Rochester has got another mention in one of your reports," says Daniel Hayes. "What do you think would happen to Ian Poulter if he were to walk down the high street in those trousers at closing time?" I think he'd be warmly greeted by all, almost like a returning messiah. There wouldn't be a dry in the house. Or even the high street.

11.15 "How would you compare Faldo's fist pumping to Tiger Tim's?" asks David Tirebuck. Good question. I'd say Timmy's is that of an erstwhile loser trying to convince himself he's actually a winner; Faldo's, with his leg half-cocked like a nervous poodle, was that of an old man trying to convince himself he's actually 25. Maybe. Meanwhile, a number of chaps are going too long on their putts. Either they're misjudging the wind, or there's lots of pent-up testosterone lurking that they just can't control.

NOTE: On the actual page new entries are posted at the top of the page, so you have to scroll from bottom to top to see it in order.

Renovated

Thursday, 15 July 2004 10:57 PM

WARNING: A self-absorbed home renovation project post follows.

I've mentioned My Arduous-Although-Small Bathroom Renovation Project, but I never told you how it wrapped up.

The contractors finished their various bits some weeks back, and I've enjoyed having a working shower (as opposed to a leaking shower) much more than I'd anticipated. The humid western PA summer weather has made evening bathing essential (which reminds me that someday I shall have to write about my old Cambridge roommate who showered three times daily in summer and spent many a day wandering the flat in only a towel....).

Anyway, today I finally finished painting the renovated bathroom, as part of painting the interior of the whole house. (Of which more in the next few days.) So, voila:

For pained memories and photos of the final stages, continue reading.

One of the first things I had told both Mike the Handyman and Todd the Tile Guy at the beginning of the project was that I was going on vacation in mid May, and that I wanted the project finished before then.

"Not a problem," Mike said.

"This'll take about two weeks," Todd said.

Those of you who have made home improvements in the past should now get back up from the floor and take a few deep breaths to stop your laughing fits.

The tile, being funky odd-shaped tile, had to be ordered of course, and some of the bull-nose tile would take longer to arrive. And Todd the Tile Guy himself was going on vacation before I was, and would be away when the tile arrived. So the tile installation started the day before I left for Florida and ended while I was away.

Happily, it did come out well.

After I returned home and caught up from all the work I'd missed on vacation, I bustled over to Lowe's and bought a tub door -- the same one as in the rental house in Florida, so every morning when I bathe it's like I'm on vacation -- and towels racks, hooks, and paper roll holder. Oh, you have to see the toilet paper roll holder! It's so cool. See:

No springs! From such a small life improvement comes happiness.

So Mike the Handyman installed these goodies, and most importantly reinstalled and cleaned up and generally repaired the toilets in this bathroom and the powder room.

Hoorah!

And then a few weeks passed, and I made myself busy with other stuff.

Eventually I gathered enough inner strength to start my next long-overdue home improvement project: painting all the rooms in the house. That is what has occupied all spare and non-spare time in the last three weeks. Choosing colors, picking paints, buying everything, learning how to paint, learning how to get paint and spackle shrapnel out of my hair.... I'll starting writing about it tomorrow.

For now, let's enjoy a before-and-after of the bathroom:

BEFORE

AFTER

It's a huge jump in quality, believe me. My ditsy web camera doesn't do justice to the changes wrought. I should not have waited so long.

Gist Street Cookout!

Tuesday, 13 July 2004 01:16 PM

The annual, not-to-be-missed Gist Street Cookout is approaching:

It's summer! The corn is over knee-high, and the basil plants have decided they'd like to stay for awhile. That means it's time to fire up the grill for the annual cookout extravaganza.

SATURDAY, July 17th in the backyard of the studio. SATURDAY. This year, we're featuring VERSE PRESS (www.versepress.org) and offering an amazing smorgasboard of readings from 5 (count em 5) of their finest poets: Peter Richards, Christian Hawkey, Lori Shine, Eric Baus, and Diane Wald. These
poets are making a heroic effort to get to Pittsburgh by car and plane just to read for you. There will be *many* books for sale.

Our cookouts feature some of the finest potluck dishes in the Pittsburgh region and perhaps the world. This means you, yes you, need to pull out the stops and bring something in a dish or something for the grill. Find Aunt Edna's potato salad recipe or whip something up you've been wanting to try out on a LARGE crowd or buy a big ol piece of fish, chicken or beef. Someone needs to bring a watermelon. I've promised a watermelon to the poets. Also, bring things to drink. Last year we--tragically--ran out of beer.

305 Gist Street. James Simon's sculpture studio on the first floor, backyard. Socializing and cook-outing begin at 7:30. Readings begin at 8:00. Homemade bread by Antoine. LOTS and LOTS of pesto made by the Gist Street staff. I'll make a pie or two. $3 suggested donation. Gist Street raffle. Enormous quantities of food you'll be talking about until next year about this time.

For bios of all the poets, coherent directions, and gossip: www.giststreet.org. 412-434-5629 if you're lost.

Please, please heed the call to BYOB. It's so desperately annoying to bring a bottle of wine to an event like this and have all the vino run out before one can have a second glass.

How to sell expensive water

Thursday, 08 July 2004 03:08 PM

Nice little case study on "anti-marketing marketing": the brilliance of Darius Bikoff and Glaceau Smartwater.

Despite the success, despite the obvious attention to marketing principles such as design and differentiation, and despite even the national effort, Energy Brands seems to have retained the important sense of being an irreverent underdog: It has mastered the art of anti-marketing marketing.

The label on "Endurance" states: "professional athletes have not endorsed this product ... excessive use will not lead you to have a desire to be like Mike, Magic or even athletes named Ned." "Energy" takes a similar tack. "We rebut any offers by professional sports leagues to become 'the official water' of anything. Although this is a great alternative to sports drinks we do not believe in succumbing to commercialism. Unless, of course, there's a lot of cash. Then we'll talk."

Got to pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues

Thursday, 08 July 2004 11:03 AM

Another event we missed while sequested deep in our home-renovation efforts: Ringo Starr has turned 64.

(Many link thanks to Syntax of Things.)

I'll take "Quiz Show Phenoms" for $1000, Alex

Thursday, 08 July 2004 09:54 AM

Not being a dinner-hour TV viewer I've missed the controversy surrounding Ken Jennings, the current 'Jeopardy' champion, who is on a 26-show winning streak.

Jennings, who in last night's airing admitted that "being a nerd really pays off sometimes," is the first contestant to go on a long winning streak since the show scrapped its former five-day limit on appearances. Jennings, the father of a 1-year-old who plans to donate 10 percent of his winnings to the Mormon church, looks a little like a benign Alfred E. Newman. He is a veteran of high school and college quiz shows and edits questions for national quiz bowl competitions.

I don't want this blog to turn into a David Foster Wallace fan-site, but I'm immediately reminded of his story, "Little Expressionless Animals." (Can't find a full version online, but you can read the first six pages of it here.)

So will the network bring in a long-lost sibling to knock down Jennings? Tune in and see!

Related: Quiz Show. (Whatever happened to Rob Morrow?)

UPDATE: For a nice essay on Ken Jennings, including some intriguing predictions as to how his run will end, check out Jeff Bryant's take on Syntax of Things. Also, Dana Stevens at Slate has a good take on it as well.

(Gosh, I leave my keyboard for a few days and everyone gets way ahead of me. That'll teach me. And I still don't know what's become of Rob Morrow. Can someone get on that and get back to me? I'll be outside weeding.)

Drink of the week: Raspberry Spider

Friday, 02 July 2004 10:18 AM

RASPBERRY SPIDER

Ingredients:
Rocks
Amaretto
Chambord
Frangelico
Coffee cream to fill

Preparation:
Put ice in a lowball glass. Pour all liquor or cordials, juice, mix over ice, directly into serving glass in the order as drink recipe lists.

(Note that there's no relation at all between this drink and a White Spider, in either version.)

But how to phrase it in one's job description?

Friday, 02 July 2004 10:07 AM

Even Businessweek says it's a good thing: Blogging With The Boss's Blessing.

Increasingly, execs see employee blogs as a way to transform a transaction with a faceless behemoth into a personal relationship with an employee. Blogs are also hyper efficient at driving product innovation. And they create loyal audiences. Once people get hooked, they keep coming back for more. "This is nothing less than revolutionary," says Dave Winer, a fellow at Harvard Law School's Berkman Center for Internet & Society.

It's revolutionary because companies have usually been more concerned with controlling their message than conversing with customers. Blogging changes that by establishing "a connection through real human beings speaking like real human beings, which is something companies have forgotten how to do," says David Weinberger, the Boston-based co-author of The Cluetrain Manifesto.

(Link thanks to Old Hag.)

Bite me

Thursday, 01 July 2004 10:49 AM

Over on McSweeney's, a timely and Pittsburgh-originated open letter to an entity that is unlikely to respond: An Open Letter to the Radioactive Spider That Never Bit Me.

Dear radioactive spider,

I'm already twenty-seven years old, and I still don't have the abilities of a spider. I know you're out there, and, for whatever reason, you've decided that biting a (relatively) young, socially awkward boy isn't one of your priorities.

You should totally bite me. I could fight supervillains! I know, there haven't been very many supervillains in this part of the country. The pickings here are slim, since most Pittsburghers are blue-collar yinzers too tired after work to cause trouble, or rugrat Pitt students just looking to get cheap beer and free sex, which I admit aren't standard supervillain goals.

But think of all the things I could do with the powers of a spider! I could be swinging between buildings on long, ropy strands of webbing! I could be climbing up sheer walls! I could be punching bank robbers and rapists! I could have pectoral muscles! But no, I have to walk to where I want to go, and the only thing I can shoot out of my wrists is blood, and that’s not possible without probably dying afterward.

Copyright © 2004 – 2007 Cynthia Closkey