Archives: April 01, 2004

Selling more than chicken

Friday, 30 April 2004 10:28 AM

In on-going Subservient Chicken coverage, here's a concise and well-explained analysis by Joseph Jaffe on the brilliance of the campaign:

The one question that seems to be continuously asked is, "But did it sell chicken?" This is completely the wrong question to be asking. Perhaps a more appropriate question you should be asking is, "Does Burger King sell chicken?" (hint: think BURGER King). The answer is an emphatic "yes" -- and if you didn't know it before, you certainly do now.

Subservient Chicken is cocky, to be sure, but without question a smart and strategic campaign. It almost single-handedly put BK in the news for all the right reasons, when it seemed the only news that was worthy for this flailing brand was bad news -- at a time when the only flame-grilled item on the menu was the company itself.

(Link via the excellent MarketingVox, which also is maintaining a list of other relevant Subservient Chicken and viral marketing links.)

Drink of the week: Dirty Shirley

Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:27 PM

From the short story "Too Smart" by Emily Chenoweth, published in Tin House issue 19 ("Lies!"), Spring 2004:

It is clear to me when I arrive at the hotel that I should have chosen something else to wear. That's because the theme tonight--why didn't I look at my calendar?--is the Equatorial Rain Forest (do they think they're clever?) and everyone's in tribal. For some of the women this means baggy linen dresses, as if they are plantation wives. For others it was time to break out the jungle prints. The costumes on the men range from explorer--canvas vest, butterfly net, pith helmet--to tropical savage, which defies description.

I walk up to the bar and the man behind it shoots me a look of what is either amusement or desperation, I can't tell. I tell him what I want: 7UP, grenadine, and lots of vodka on the rocks. I made it up myself on one of my NPR nights; it tastes like a kiddie cocktail but it doesn't act like one. I call it a Dirty Shirley.

Our CEO, in respectable business casual, is in the corner talking to several women of the linen dress variety. I ought to say hello, but I don't feel like leaving the bar. Not until I've had three more Shirleys.

DIRTY SHIRLEY

Ingredients:
3 oz vodka
.5 oz. grenadine
7UP

Glassware: highball glass

Directions:
Fill glass with ice. Add grenadine and vodka, then 7UP to fill.

Art you can drink

Thursday, 29 April 2004 01:43 PM

I thought this guy's designs on lattes and cappucinos were pretty cool.

Then I saw what this barista can do.

(Thanks to The Morning News for the first link, and to Dave Barry's blog for the second.)

Aussi, nous sommes désolés pour Euro-Disney. Mauvaise idée.

Thursday, 29 April 2004 11:13 AM

Oh, how I wish I'd thought of this inside joke/buzz marketing stroke of genius:

Labels on most of the backpacks, messenger and laptop bags made and sold by Tom Bihn have his company's contact information along with washing instructions in English and French along with a message reading: "Nous sommes desoles que notre president soit un idiot. Nous n'avons pas vote pour lui."

The translation reads: "We are sorry that our president is an idiot. We did not vote for him."

Tom Bihn, who designs and makes bags for his eponymous company of 10 employees in Port Angeles, a seaside city 60 miles northwest of Seattle, claims he has no idea how the phrase got onto the label, but credits it with doubling bag sales.

"We don't know how it got there," Bihn said in a dead-pan manner.

Asked if the message refers to President Bush (news - web sites) or French President Jacques Chirac, Bihn said he had no clue whom the insult referred to.

"I'm going with the idea that it refers to me, the president of the company," Bihn said, "I do have to say it seems to have struck a chord. A lot of people seem to think that it refers to another president."

You can read the company's official response to questions about the label on a dedicated page on their website. The companies products are quite sharp-looking, very stylish, and seem really functional. I'd love to hear from anyone who has one of the laptop totes. (Also, a gift-giving hint: I'm digging the Small Cafe Bag in Wasabi.) Please also see the page on the company dog.

(The headline for this post was unrepentantly stolen in entirety from Wonkette, who commented amusingly on this very subject nearly a week ago. But it's still funny.)

UPDATE: Heeding my request for reviews of the Tom Bihn bags, Christina at Inner Bitch posts a lovely and thorough review, with pictures.

The quiet man sings

Tuesday, 27 April 2004 11:12 PM

Karl Mullen -- Irish-born singer/songwriter/artist/man-about-Pittsburgh -- is having a busy week:

April 28 (Wednesday)
Irishtown: the debut of a new band
Mullaney’s Harp and Fiddle, Penn Ave, Pittsburgh, 8 PM

April 29 (Thursday)
Hip to Be Square-Songwriters Circle
The Square Cafe, Braddock, Regent Square

April 30 (Friday)
On-air debut of Live & Direct : 3 Decades 3 Discs, a three-CD set from WYEP 91.3 FM in Pittsburgh, live on-air at 91.3 FM, 7:20 AM

April 30 (later that same day)
CD release party for Live & Direct : 3 Decades 3 Discs, hosted by WYEP 91.3 FM, Pittsburgh Center for the Arts, Shadyside -- FREE!!
6 PM Doors open
7 PM Live music by Scott Miller
8 PM Live music by Karl Mullen
9 PM More music by Scott Miller

I've been luck enough to work with Karl on his new website, in anticipation of his soon-to-be-released new solo CD. One demo track is available for free download from the site, so please visit and enjoy. If you're a fan of Ploughman's Lunch and The Karl Mullen Band (or other music with combined Irish and rock elements), I think you'll find the new music to be similar enough to resonate, yet also intimate and personal--something a little new and true.

(I hope to see everyone at the WYEP CD release party -- happy 30th birthday to WYEP!)

Sir Mix-alot

Monday, 26 April 2004 03:00 PM

How to create support among your existing fans for your new work, exhibit A: David Bowie invites fans to remix his new songs with his back catalog.

Singer David Bowie (news) has invited his fans to mix two of his songs together, extending a hand of friendship to underground bootlegging enthusiasts. The rocker, currently touring with his 26th album "Reality," has invited his supporters to splice a song from the album with any other track from his back catalog as part of a six-week contest.

Bowie is on the panel of judges who will pick a winner and runners-up from among a publicly voted shortlist of entrants.

A change in service

Monday, 26 April 2004 01:51 PM

Over at Fat Plum, my colleagues and I have been running a new blog, Sticky Notes. In keeping with Fat Plum's mission of providing "juicy solutions for today's writer," we're posting information and links related to writing and publishing.

Sticky Notes is my first adventure in co-blogging, so I'm eager to see whether sharing the space and responsibilities with two others changes my posting style. Also, since each of us Fat Plum-ers has a different perspective and varying interests, I anticipate we'll bring fresh looks to the writing and publishing worlds.

Since I'll be posting in that new forum, I will not include as much specific writing content here in My Brilliant Mistakes. If you've an interest in the writing-focused posts I've written in the past, please swing by Sticky Notes and keep me company there.

And now, a word from our sponsor

Monday, 26 April 2004 01:38 PM

Some articles related to changes in consumers' acceptance or rejection of marketing and advertising:

MediaDailyNews reports that "[a]bout half of consumers surveyed say they've noticed brands involved in product placements in movies and television, according to a recent Mediaedge:cia study." More significantly, the study found that "60 percent of those consumers are willing to try the brands advertised, with the percentages a little higher for TV than movies."

And the New York Times says that "branded entertainment, in which advertisers show their wares in longer-form narrative films instead of commercials, is barreling ahead." One key to the approach is subtlety: "The new productions work to avoid seeming like traditional, hard-selling commercials. In the 17 minutes of "The Ecology of Love," for instance, the protagonist's Visa card appears for only moments. Likewise, the groundskeeper of "The Scout" rides a Craftsman tractor, but the focus remains on the characters."

Apparently such new approaches are needed, because, according to the Direct Marketing Association, "[t]he growing intrusiveness of marketing and advertising has led to a saturated marketplace, pushing consumer resistance to an all-time high and causing marketing productivity to plummet, according to a proprietary study by Yankelovich Partners, a leading marketing services consultancy." Specifically, "60% of consumers have a much more negative opinion of marketing and advertising now than a few years ago; 61% feel the amount of marketing and advertising is out of control; and 65% feel constantly bombarded with too much marketing and advertising."

Advertising watchdog organization Commercial Alert claims this survey demonstrates that consumers are disgusted by the ubiquity of advertising messages. From an opinion piece by Gary Ruskin of Commercial Alert in today's AdAge: "Most Americans accept advertising as a part of the circus of life. We at Commercial Alert certainly do. But the advertising industry seems caught up in a death spiral of disrespect. In its desperate clamor to claim the attention of potential shoppers, the industry invents a new intrusive ad mechanism almost every week, until citizens are driven nuts by all the billboards, product placement, junk faxes, pop-unders and all the rest of it." (Note that the rest of the column is even more histrionic than this paragraph.)

How to make your brand laughable in one easy step

Friday, 23 April 2004 01:45 PM

This website seems to be intended to help franchisees create McDonald's promotional materials.

But it's quite easy to use it in other ways.

In actuality, I expect that the wording of the banners must be approved by someone before anything is printed. And the fact that the physical banners cost money should prevent this little tool from being misused/abused in the way the Bush-Cheney 2004 Campaign Sloganator was.

(Banner generator link and fake franchisee banner via Adrants.)

Special delivery

Thursday, 22 April 2004 05:43 PM

This afternoon, UPS delivered a package to me. (Two posters from the Bonny Doon Vineyard, of wine labels designed by Ralph Steadman. Quite cool. The company also offers fun t-shirts and other goodies, and lots of wine that cannot be delivered by mail within the borders of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania.) Because the package was sent from a wine company, someone had to sign for it, so the UPS man rang the doorbell and waited instead of dropping the box and bolting, as they usually do.

The UPS guy was not the one I've previously seen: this fellow was about my height, with short-short dark hair and a mustache, while the normal one is tall, blond, and lanky (as best I can tell from my few sightings of him running back the walkway and leaping into his truck to speed off).

I stepped onto the porch to sign the package-tracking/signature-storing gadget. As I signed, the UPS guy said, "Been to the Brick House lately?"

This gave me pause. The Brick House is a restaurant/bar in Butler and is my typical hangout in town. And sure, I've been there often enough to know the bartenders and managers by name. And yeah, Butler is a small town. But to be recognized as a Brick House patron within seconds of leaving my front door? It felt like a sign of ... something.

I searched my memory for anyone looking like this guy and came up blank. All the same, I had to admit it was possible that I'd met him previously. I might even have had an extended, multi-drink conversation with him. Some nights are fuzzier than others.

Apparently my face displayed at least part of this internal dialogue, because he said, "I've seen you there."

I smiled and acknowledged that yes, I'd been there recently. Last night, in fact. With my brother-in law. That still didn't seem like enough of a reply, so I added that the place had been pretty empty.

"Yeah, I was there a few weeks ago and it was dead. It was comedy night, you know? And these two comedians ... they weren't good. Not funny."

I nodded sympathetically at the problem of unfunny comedians.

"I don't usually go during the week," he added. "Just weekends."

I said that this Friday night would be a good night, as there would be a great band playing there.

"I can't go out Friday nights," he said.

I said that was unfortunate.

We nodded at each other a moment more. Then he ran back down the walkway, leapt into his truck, and sped off.

Old Vic follows the lead of Butler Little Theatre

Thursday, 22 April 2004 11:45 AM

Kevin Spacey, new Artistic Director of the Old Vic Theater Company in London, announced that the theater will present The Philadelphia Story:

Dual Oscar-winner Spacey said he also intended to stage "The Philadelphia Story" next year and had been talking to Hollywood agents about availabilities of some of their stars to play the lead role made famous by Katharine Hepburn (news) in the 1940 film.

If you can't make the hop over the Atlantic or just don't care to wait until next year, you can see The Philadelphia Story at the Butler Little Theatre, May 14-16 and 18-22. Tickets $8, with reservations available to the general public starting May 6. Check the BLT website for more details.

I've been working on the set crew for this production. As usual it's a crazed scene, building the set with minimal budget and tools, engaging a random but hearty and startlingly dedicated bunch of volunteers, but I think it's coming along nicely. If I can, I'll post some in-progress, behind-the-scenes photos over the weekend.

Blogging for dollars

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 11:28 AM

Good ideas, ripe for the picking: Building a Blog Marketing and Media Company, a blog-focused business concept by WebWord. Here's the core concept:

The core idea is that there aren't any companies focused on blog marketing. There is a hole here that can be filled. As more and more people are "blogging for dollars" there is an immediate need for a marketing company to help these people drive traffic, manage their online presence, and more. Also, there is a gap that is not being filled by larger media companies. Namely, that many companies are missing out on street level marketing. In plain terms, marketing done via blogs and related outlets. So, the Blog Media Company I am talking about would help two audiences: blog owners and those that want to capitalize on blogs as media outlets.

There's room in the blog-for-hire and blog consulting markets for many players. For a while there'll be a landgrab of sorts, as people jump in and vie to be the leading authority on the subject. (Jeff Jarvis seems to have a lock on the title right now, but again more than one leader can exist, and as differing viewpoints develop there will be factions and competing schools of biz blogging.)

One bonus for companies that haven't fully developed a web presence yet: You can leapfrog your competitors who invested money and effort in previous web content and infrastructure styles, benefiting from what's already been learned and building on the buzz of this newer, improved technology. (Sort of a combined second-mover/first-mover advantage.)

(Link via Business Blog Consulting -- a site with a name that cries out for a short acronym but that can't use the obvious BBC.)

Twenty-Minute Stories

Wednesday, 21 April 2004 10:57 AM

The third place winner of McSweeney's Twenty-Minute Stories Contest has been published: "Untitled" by Mickey Hess.

You become used to most things in the world, and you bring in somebody new so it all seems surprising again. Our friend Genny sends word that she is again pregnant. She and her first child, Mazzen, stayed with Danielle and I for a few days in the summer. Mazzen is two years old, and enjoys pulling things off of things. As she was leaving, Genny asked "When are you two gonna have your own little Mazzen?" But I was glad there is only one Mazzen, and that she was taking him home with her.

If you're not familiar with the Twenty-Minute Stories Contest, here are the rules and rationale behind it. In brief, the idea is that tight deadlines can force interesting results. That's been the case for many of these stories. Some of the stories that didn't fit in the print version of McSweeney's for which they were intended, and some that are particularly notable, are being published online. I recommend them highly.

Goldman Sachs has a no good, very bad day

Tuesday, 20 April 2004 01:20 PM

Public relations teams at Goldman Sachs offices worldwide will be working late tonight on spin control.

First, a court convicted a high-level secretary in the firm of fraudulently taking over £4 million from her bosses there, all the while telling them she suffered from cervical cancer and racking up rave performance reviews.

To her colleagues and employers, she was the epitome of efficiency - a "very competent employee, highly regarded, very good at her job ... who came to enjoy an absolute and complete level of trust".

But behind lurked a "very clever con artist" whose "unsurpassed lying" and ability as a forger paved the way to "phenomenal wealth".

Then, the Wall Street Journal published an article (no link, but it runs on April 20 in section C, page 1, authored by Susanne Craig) entitled "'Apprentice' Runner-Up Got Trumped by Own Experience" that claims that Kwame Jackson's soft-pedal style, which many blame for his losing the show, was learned in his time at Goldman Sachs.

Goldman prides itself on its low profile; its downtown Manhattan headquarters here doesn't have a sign noting the firm's presence. Mr. Trump, on the other hand ... well, his self-promotion is legendary: His name is on everything from helicopters to casinos to bottles of water.

Actually, there does seem to be a theme running through the two incidents: people lying to their superiors:

His style hurt him most when it came to dealing with cast member Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth, whom Mr. Jackson picked to be on his team in one of the final episodes despite her track record on the show as a schemer. She lied to him, costing him points with Mr. Trump, who said Mr. Jackson should have "fired her or severely reprimanded her" after this incident.

Bad things come in threes, you know. Everyone left at Goldman had best watch his back.

Art All Night

Tuesday, 20 April 2004 11:20 AM

Insomniac artists and art aficionados in Pittsburgh: this weekend is for you. Art All Night, in Lawrenceville, runs from 8pm Saturday through to 2pm Sunday, and features "professional and amateur artists of all ages and abilities." This includes you. Bring work to show/display/sell.

The Lawrenceville Art All Night inspired the Butler art collective, Associated Artists of Butler County, to run a similar event last year called ART24. It was a terrific success, and a lot of fun for everyone who participated. The fate of ART24 is in question right now, due to staff and other conflicts at the AABC, but most people seem to want for it to happen again. (The trick, of course, is finding enough people who are willing to help make it happen.)

Small improvements

Monday, 19 April 2004 07:07 PM

For those concerned and gentle souls who asked how the bathroom renovation is going: I reached the "throw money at the problem to make it go away" stage, a little early I believe, and as a result progress has continued. No word from Todd the Tile Guy on the next stage, though. (Click the link below for details and photos.)

Initially I'd planned to keep the old sink, which matched the toilet and tub. However, we discovered that the vanity was a nonstandard size, and therefore required a custom or modified countertop, into which the sink could perhaps be inserted. As I never liked the vanity -- had talked of tearing it out from the very first tour of the house -- it seemed foolish to go out of my way to keep it in my life.

So, I trekked to Lowe's to choose a new vanity and countertop. After extensive hemming and hawing, I chose a counter with a built-in sink, which should be much easier to clean than the old one was and which still sort of matched the toilet and tub. It also was more expensive than I'd expected, and coupled with the vanity started the wallet bleeding.

Add in the new faucet and shower sets and the delivery charges, and the time for Mike the Handyman to rip out the old stuff and install the new, and for the plumber to take out the aging plumbing and install everything, and you can understand why I had to spend Saturday moving money from one bank account to another.

But the result is much nicer than what I had before:

I was even able to use the tub over the weekend.

Not the most comfortable of modern bathing arrangements, but it beats driving to my parents' just to get ready in thr mornings.

Meanwhile, the toilet patiently waits in the spare room to be restored to its rightful position.

Related entries:
The destruction begins
Demolition

Creating my perfect beverage

Monday, 19 April 2004 02:25 PM

Starbucks and Jim Beam Brands Co. are joining forces to take control of my liquor cabinet. Well, the article doesn't say exactly that, but it sure sounds like that's their plan:

The two companies didn't disclose yesterday many other details about the new liqueur -- including its name -- but it will feature the Starbucks brand on the bottle. The liqueur, which will compete with products such as Kahlua and Baileys Irish Cream, will not be sold in Starbucks coffeehouses.

Drinkers can take it neat or mixed with other beverages, said Tom Flocco, president and chief executive of Jim Beam. The two companies are developing drink recipes for the liqueur that include other spirits and sodas.

(Link via Agenda.)

Road rage

Monday, 19 April 2004 02:13 PM

Whoever made the schedule cares not a whit for rush hour commuters nor their cars' emissions: This afternoon around 5pm, President Bush will cause the Parkway West, the Pittsburgh Downtown area, and everything else around there grind to a halt while he makes an appearance in support of Senator Arlen Specter. The NRA convention is also in town. Makes for an interesting mix.

Coincidentally, at 3:30 this afternoon -- which is the middle of rush hour here on the western side of Butler, given that the intermediate and high schools let out and various shifts change or end the workday at companies in the vicinity at about that time -- at that magic hour, the city and local development authority will make an announcement at the ball field next door to our offices. Governor Rendell will be present.

We assume this regards the city's plan to move all the companies in this area to new digs elsewhere within the city limits, to reroute traffic through the area and expand the ball park to make it usable by a AAA team.

(Personal quandary: Should I high-tail it out of here before then, or should I stick around to see how much of a crowd turns out and to hear the announcement? Decisions, decisions.)

UPDATE: The governor hasn't arrived yet. It's raining, and people are standing under tents and sitting in the bleachers, waiting. Some people have left. The security has been tight: A person needed to be on the invitation list to get in, and had to show photo ID. The kids who would normally be practicing ball are sitting and standing in the bleachers, in uniform. Maybe they're the only ones who don't mind the wait, as it means they don't have to practice in the rain.

Mm-mmm good!

Monday, 19 April 2004 09:23 AM

Life imitates art imitating life: Campbell's is releasing limited edition cans of soup that mimic the paintings Andy Warhol made mimicking Campbell's Soup cans.

[T]hese limited-edition designs will be available at participating Giant Eagle stores in the Pittsburgh region. The four-pack, which sells for $2, will contain at least two colorful labels based on the combinations that Warhol created in his silk-screens: green and red, pink and orange, aqua and indigo or gold and yellow. A copy of Warhol's signature appears on each can and on the shrink wrap.

(Link via Inner Bitch.)

The sad state of chick lit

Saturday, 17 April 2004 02:50 PM

Choire Sicha tears apart Plum Sykes's 'Bergdorf Blondes.'

In all seriousness: we must build a tiny apocalypse-proof time capsule. If we can resist the temptation to burn Plum Sykes's book, we can smuggle it into the future. Perhaps the next breed of humanoids can learn from the holocaust of culture and commerce that destroyed our icky civilization.

Will Al Gore claim a share?

Thursday, 15 April 2004 04:00 PM

The scientist credited with inventing the World Wide Web, Tim Berners-Lee, has been awarded the first Millennium Technology Prize.

More Subservient Chicken

Thursday, 15 April 2004 03:25 PM

The Wall Street Journal today has an article discussing the Subservient Chicken website created by Burger King (discussed here previously after Adrants wrote about it). If you're a subscriber to the WSJ, here's a link. The results in only two days are astounding. An excerpt:

Designed by Crispin, the Web promotion represents a classic example of viral marketing -- promotions that catch on via word-of-mouth rather than a flashy ad campaign on a more established medium such as TV, radio or a magazine.

"The intent here is to speak specifically to young adults in their 20s and 30s. These are people that are very Internet savvy," says Blake Lewis, a spokesman for Burger King, which is controlled by Texas Pacific Group. "They are very active. They may not mirror a lot of the traditional TV, newspaper or radio consumption patterns that older adults have come to adopt."

The subservientchicken.com Web site launched the evening of April 7, Mr. Lewis says, and only 20 people were told about it -- all friends of people who worked at the ad agency. Some TV ads have flashed the Web address. Burger King says the site has received 15 million to 20 million hits. According to the agency, Web surfers have spent an average of six minutes exploring the fowl game.

We all need goals

Thursday, 15 April 2004 02:25 PM

Anyone whose credits include this kind of accolade is worth looking out for:

[Chris] Morris's last TV work, the 2001 one-off Brass Eye special, was the second most complained-about programme in the Independent Television Commission's 13-year history, attracting 992 complaints.

However, the ITC received a similar number of calls from viewers applauding the programme's satirical approach to how the media cover paedophilia.

I might have to get that BBC cable channel after all.

Make a good first impression

Wednesday, 14 April 2004 11:22 PM

Five openings I adore, chosen randomly:

"They put the behemoths in the hold along with the rhinos, the hippos and the elephants. It was a sensible decision to use them as ballast; but you can imagine the stench. And there was no-one to muck out. The men were overburdened with the feeding rota, and their woman, who beneath those leaping fire-tongues of scent no doubt reeked as badly as we did, were far too delicate. So if any mucking-out was to happen, we had to do it ourselves. Every few months they would winch back the thick hatch on the aft deck and let the cleaner-birds in. Well, first they had to let the smell out (and there weren't too many volunteers for winch-work); then six or eight of the less fastidious birds would flutter cautiously around the hatch for a minute or so before diving in."
From "The Stowaway" in A History of the World in 10 1/2 Chapters by Julian Barnes

"A few days before Christmas, in 1959, my father shot a man named Lyle King, and would have killed him, if not for a quirk of anatomy which had located Mr. King's heart an inch to the left of where by rule it should have been. 'Joe,' my father told me some time later, 'I meant to kill that sonofabitch, and I would have -- no joke -- if only his heart had been in the right place.'"
From "The End of Sorry" in The Least You Need to Know by Lee Martin

"It is disconcerting to talk to someone on the phone and know that he is naked. Every now and then I might call a friend who says, 'You caught me on my way to the shower,' but that's different. The man at the nudist colony sounded as though he had been naked for years. Even his voice was tanned."
From "Naked" in the collection Naked by David Sedaris

"Right now it's Sunday 18 March, and I'm sitting in the extremely full coffee shop of the Fort Lauderdale Airport, killing the four hours between when I had to be off the cruise ship and when my flight to Chicago leaves by trying to summon up a kind of hypnotic sensuous collage of all the stuff I've seen and heard and done as a result of the journalistic assignment just ended.

"I have seen sucrose beaches and water a very bright blue. I have seen an all-red leisure suit with flared lapels. I have smelled what suntan lotion smells like spread over 21000 pounds of hot flesh. I have been addressed as 'Mon' in three different nations. I have watched 500 upscale Americans dance the Electric Slide. I have seen sunsets that looked computer-enhanced and a tropical moon that looked more like a sort of obscenely large and dangling lemon than like the good old stony U.S. moon I'm used to.

"I have (very briefly) joined a Conga Line."
From "A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again" in A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again by David Foster Wallace

"My desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable split-ups, in chronological order:

1. Alison Ashworth
2. Penny Hardwick
3. Jackie Allen
4. Charlie Nicholson
5. Sarah Kendrew.

"These were the ones that really hurt. Can you see your name in that lot, Laura? I reckon you'd sneak into the top ten, but there's no place for you in the top five; those places are reserved for the kind of humiliations and heartbreaks that you're just not capable of delivering. That probably sounds crueler than it is meant to, but the fact is that we're too old to make each other miserable, and that's a good thing, not a bad thing, so don't take your failure to make the list personally. Those days are gone, and good fucking riddance to them; unhappiness really meant something back then. Now it's just a drag, like a cold or having no money. If you really wanted to mess me up, you should have gotten to me earlier."
From High Fidelity by Nick Hornby

"It's not going to work"

Tuesday, 13 April 2004 11:08 AM

Ad Age reports that "a growing number of marketers want to persuade the nation's print magazines to open the text of their editorial pages to product placements." I'm not particularly swayed by the moral arguemnts on either side of the issue, but I agree with the editor quoted in the article who feels that blurring the lines between journalistic and marketing content will dilute the power of each:

An editor in chief elsewhere put the commercial argument of church and state in more blunt terms. "Without a visceral relationship with the reader, it's not going to work," this editor said. "Don't be getting in the middle of that" with product placement. "My reader's gonna say, 'What's this [expletive] for?'"

We're seeing more instances of companies buying their way into storylines -- the Bulgari novel, product placements in movies, television, and video games, etc. -- but the fact that they may work now doesn't guarantee that they'll continue to do so. Over time, the power of such placement dilutes as more companies try the same tactics and viewers/consumers become aware of the process and are jaded. Why rush things along by forcing marketing messages into editorial content?

Its version of the Chicken Dance is nothing like I expected

Monday, 12 April 2004 09:07 AM

New ideas in viral marketing: Burger King presents Subservient Chicken. Easily the weirdest thing I've seen a major food corporation do, and that's even counting the Quizno's singing rat commercials. This is one ugly chicken. And check out the duct tape on the left ankle. But it will raise brand awareness among the younger elements of the fast food nation, at a time when BK is looking to turn its fortunes around.

(Link via Adrants.)

Skin trade

Thursday, 08 April 2004 03:31 PM

Adrants highlights past and present uses of forehead advertising. It sounds like something from a science fiction novel (and indeed a similar concept is used in Jim Munroe's novel about a hyper-marketed future, Everyone in Silico).

One of the first promo items I created for Inkburns was a temporary tattoo of the logo in different sizes. They're easy to make with an ink jet printer and special tattoo paper; I bought it at K-Mart in May 2000 but can't recall the brand now.

It's a fun idea, but I didn't have anywhere to push the concept -- I didn't have any conferences slated at the time, so I took the tattoos to a writing critique weekend that turned out to be attended mainly by 30- to 60-year-old suburban women, who are of course not prime wearers of temporary tattoos. Still, maybe it's time to revive them, find new uses for the temp tattoos before every marketer in the country steals all the fun from me.

(Read more about the recent release of Everyone in Silico in a free e-book version on the No Media Kings site.)

Demolition

Wednesday, 07 April 2004 07:26 PM

After two days of tearing and scraping, the old bathroom tile is now all gone. The place smells horrible, due to the toxic particles of old adhesive that have been released into the air. Click the link below for photos of the destruction.

Day One of the tear-out: Whatever they used to glue the tiles to the walls really doesn't want to go. Mike has scraped clean one wall.

Day Two: Mike the Handyman arrived this morning with his brother, the better to attack the stubborm adhesive. It took them five hours, but they succeeded in scraping the walls clear and pulling up the Congoleum flooring.

It's already hard to remember what the place used to look like.

Blogging is the new black

Tuesday, 06 April 2004 10:06 AM

Rick E. Bruner reviews the latest research on bloggers and blog readers and wonders why more advertisers have not jumped on the opportunities presented by weblogs:

Super-popular blogger Glen Reynolds, of Instapundit.com, leaves his traffic logs open, where we can see that he averages around 100,000 visitors a day and more than 2 million uniques a month. Considering that he's only one guy, that's astounding. By comparison, HoustonChronicle.com reports 1.5 million unique monthly readers. Granted, Instapundit is one of the most widely read bloggers out there, but it puts the phenomenon in perspective.

Meanwhile, Matt Drudge -- who hates to be called a blogger, but he is, so he should just get over it -- hinted to Radar Magazine last year that he earns more than a million dollars a year selling banner ads on his hugely popular DrudgeReport.

(Link via Adrants, which has been on a roll lately.)

How branding works

Tuesday, 06 April 2004 12:36 AM

I meant to post this some time back: Scientists have new theories about how branding works:

Read Montague, Director of the Human Neuroimaging Lab at Baylor College of Medicine, has now provided proof that branding plays with our brains. Last year he decided to repeat the Pepsi Challenge, but scan the activity of the brain at the same time. Using a non-invasive technique called functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), the scans reveal which parts of the brain are active in real time. When Montague gave a taste of an unnamed soda to his volunteers he found that more people preferred Pepsi. On the scan images the ventral putamen, one of the brain's reward centers, had a response that was five times stronger than for people who preferred Coke.

The shock came when Read repeated the experiment, this time telling volunteers which brand they were tasting. Nearly all the subjects then said they preferred the Coke. Moreover, different parts of the brain fired as well, especially the medial prefrontal cortex, an area associated with thinking and judging. Without a doubt the subjects were letting their experience of the Coke brand influence their preferences.

And related to that: Coke's uncertain future, the cult of Diet Coke, and winning the hearts of consumers.

(All links via Agenda.)

The destruction begins

Tuesday, 06 April 2004 12:14 AM

Tomorrow Mike the Handyman will begin tearing out my bathroom, in phase one of the Great Renovation. He was supposed to start today but called in sick, so I have had a bonus 24 hours of controlled panic. I have dreaded this project, but it's inescapable.

Here's why:

The turquoise and mauve color combo is classic 1957, all original to when the house was built. I like 50s style, but this is going a bit far even for me.

In addition to being ugly, it's falling apart. The tiles -- which are plastic, a cost savings for the original owners and a tragedy for everyone else -- are almost free of their grouting in the bath and also falling off the wall over the radiator. I've been ignoring it ever since I moved in, but if I ever hope to sell the place I'll have to deal with it, and I might as well do it sooner so I can enjoy it.

Click through to see more details of the horror of the plastic tile.

Here's the tile over the radiator. Note the loop of duct tape, a hasty repair I tried when friends came to visit.

Here's the shower/tub, with tiles completely gone and a hole through to the open air inside the wall. I've been taking only baths for four years -- not a problem for me, because I prefer a nice bath, but it means I feel awkward inviting out-of-town friends to stay with me.

But see, this is what I like about the bathroom: the funky fixtures. Very space-age. I can't find fixtures like this at Home Depot, or anywhere else I've looked.

The new bathroom will have subway-style tiles -- 3 x 6 inches, staggered like bricks -- in vanilla, with a gray border like the black detail in the current setup, and black marblish flooring. I'm keeping the current tub, sink, toilet. Unfortunately I need to replace the faucets and such because the chrome is corroding. Still looking for a 50s-themed set, but running out of time.

I'm pleased with the plan, but I bet 40 or so years from now, someone will be cursing me and my odd design sense, just as I'm wondering about the folks who designed the current look.

Palm-igami

Monday, 05 April 2004 05:52 PM

For Catholics and lapsed Catholics in the audience: a Budding Young Theologian, a new featured columnist at Zulkey.com, considers whether it's sacrilegious to fold, spindle, or mutilate the palm fronds distributed at Palm Sunday Mass.

First, I have to say, in all my many years attending Catholic Mass, I’ve never seen the “Jesus on donkey” fronds-folding. I cannot give you instructions for making it come out right. Nor can I give you instructions for the “Palm Cross.” In my family, we always returned from Church after Palm (Passion) Sunday Mass and immediately slid the long palm strip, unfolded, under the mattresses of our beds. Occasionally, we would bend (never fold) the palm into a circle, and tuck the ends behind a crucifix that hung on the wall in my parents’ bedroom. The ends (one pointy, one flat) would stick out the sides, just beneath Jesus’ right and left arms. It would stay like that all year, until a few weeks before Lent started, when we would return the fronds to the church, where they would be burned for the imposition of ashes on Ash Wednesday.

This question came up in my childhood as well. It never occured to me to try to create anything other than a cross from the palm fronds. Perhaps this demonstrates a lack of artistic imagination in my young mind. I did worry whether one should be allowed to crease the palm fronds. Was that like chewing on the Communion host? What did Vatican II have to say on the matter? It's significantly more challenging to create a recognizable cross with a palm frond if you do not allow yourself to crease the leaf.

As years passed I became less concerned about the matter, and apparently the rest of my family did as well, or perhaps it never concerned them. These days you can find folded and drying palm fronds tucked into the storage areas of my mother's and father's cars or even scrunched under the floor mats.

The only writer constantly discouraged from writing novels

Sunday, 04 April 2004 12:24 PM

Nathalie Chicha shares notes from Lorrie Moore's Q&A with her writing workshop:

-She almost always has a story's ending in mind before starting it. Then, one-third into the story, the ending becomes clearer, and she skips ahead and writes it.

-A student asks how she goes about assigning characters their jobs, "something poets don't need to think about." It's a "real weakness for me," Moore says. She keeps on accidentally letting characters work at historical societies.

-Moore describes the process of writing a short story: First comes "some idea"; then, "things fall in from the world" -- things that have "correspondence" to that first idea; and eventually, there's a moment when the story "closes" shut and becomes a "hot house … of a fictional world."

-She's asked about motherhood's effects on her writing. "For my writing, it's been terrible. For my life," she pauses, and then says flatly, "good."

-On the other hand, she says that "Marriage is very good for writing. Most writers are married … it cuts the solitude of writing." She continues, "The trick [for writers] is not to be too busy or too lonely … Solitude, with company built into it — that's the best thing."

Your fiction and poetry dose for April

Friday, 02 April 2004 05:52 PM

I almost forgot to mention: It's the first Friday of the month, which means tonight at 7:30 the Gist Street Reading Series (it's not about suffering) will feature fine words and more, at the James Simon Sculpture Studio in Pittsburgh. Details and directions are available at the website.

Tonight's readers: John McNally (fiction) and Tracey K. Smith (poetry).

Whispering in the back of the room

Friday, 02 April 2004 12:06 PM

Techie types have taken to messaging and blogging during presentations. Some presenters object to the practice, others support it.

I don't see how anyone can block conference and meeting attendees from using messaging, and I don't see many good reasons to try. But I do like the idea of a presenter offering a channel for discussion during his presentation: What a great advantage it would be to later review what people were whispering about.

Creativity matters

Friday, 02 April 2004 11:13 AM

Danny Gregory recommends a book that helped him allow more creativity into his life:

One of the suggestions I made to S. was that he buy a copy of The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron. Everyone has heard of this book and many people own unread copies. I'm not much of a self-help book kind of guy but I can say, without equivocation, that the contents of this book changed my life. The cornerstone of the program are the Morning Pages, a discipline that requires you, almost immediately after waking each day, to fill three pages with whatever words come in to your mind. These words are not meant to be read by anyone, not even by you. Yet they give you a chance to skim the crapoff your mind, the doubt and self loathing, the apprehensions and obstacles, and begin each day with a creative act.

She's back...

Friday, 02 April 2004 11:02 AM

Stephany Aulenback is linking up a storm at Maud Newton's blog today, and it's all good. Make sure to see the entry on 86-year-old LaVonne Snowden's self-published book.

Drink of the week: Death in the Afternoon

Thursday, 01 April 2004 07:01 PM

Absinthe may become available again. But not for a while.

In the meantime, we must console ourselves with Pernod. Here's a promising-sounding cocktail with a Hemingway theme:

DEATH IN THE AFTERNOON

Creator: N/A

Ingredients:
1 Champagne
1.5 oz. Pernod

Glassware: Champagne Flute

Directions:
Pour Pernod into a chilled glass and fill up with champagne.

(Alameda Times-Star link thanks to Agenda, which has amazing advertising coverage.)

ADV: Book Boot Camp

Thursday, 01 April 2004 12:08 PM

[We interrupt this blog for a brief advertisement.)

Dear Pittsburgh-area writer: Do you have a manuscript moldering in a bottom drawer?

Starting April 18, Fat Plum will present Book Boot Camp, a six-session workshop with tracks for manuscript revision, publishing strategy, and book development. Each week's discussion will be tailored to your specific needs and goals. We'll coach you through your writing and editing blocks, help you determine the best publishing plan and develop a winning synopsis and proposal, or brainstorm your book ideas.

For more information, check out the Fat Plum website and drop me an email (cindy at fatplum.com). Let's get that book off your desk and into print.

[We now return you to your regularly scheduled dosage of links, ramblings, and liquor-related trivia.]

Interesting furnishings

Thursday, 01 April 2004 10:36 AM

Artist Jacob Cress's "Oops!"

Copyright © 2004 – 2007 Cynthia Closkey