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Turn of the screw(top)

Thursday, 20 May 2004 11:50 AM

Sorry posting has been light this week. I'm trying to enjoy a long-needed vacation. It surprises me how much trouble I have relaxing, even in the most idyllic of settings. Fortunately, there's some wine on hand to help.

On that topic, here's an interesting bit of information from Bonny Doon Vineyard on the virtues of their new screw-top bottling versus traditional corked bottles: "Are You Getting Screwed?"

Rest assured that the Stelvin(tm) is in no way an inferior form of closure to the more prevalent 17th century technology, commonly referred to as a "cork." While the Stelvin(tm) closure may not provide the cork's POP and circumstance we associate with this potent cultural signifier, there are a few other tree-bark related shortcomings that it elegantly eludes.

Specifically, wines sealed with a Stelvin(tm) closure are not susceptible to "corkiness," the noxious mustiness, which all too often taints wines sealed with even the most expensive traditional corks. In addition, extensive research shows that the Stelvin(tm) closure makes a nearly perfect airtight seal, actually more airtight than a cork. This means your bottle of Big House will age ("conserve" the wine mavens would sniff) more slowly and elegantly than if it were sealed with a conventional cork.

There is also the significant matter of convenience. One need possess neither a post-graduate degree in mechanical engineering nor superhuman strength and dexterity (or even a corkscrew, for that matter) to open the Stelvin(tm) closure. Opposable thumbs will do.

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